Expectations

 Expectations 



“Expectation is the root of all heartache”- William Shakespeare


When giving the introduction to his famous book, The Other Wes Moore, Wes More highlights that the reason why the other Wes Moore and him ended up in different paths was not because one looked up to their expectations and the other did not but because they both did. One recognized his humble upbringing but wanted to prosper and improve his lifestyle. The other recognized his humble upbringing but embraced it to the point where he settled and almost welcomed it. 



Wes Moore



There are many things that could have completely changed the way Wes’ life turned out. One of the biggest things that had a big impact in his life was having a father figure. Wes remembers a time his father explained to him the importance of treating women with respect. Wes explains, “That is one of only two memories I have of my father. The other was when I watched him die”(p.11). Wes witnessed how his father died as he suffocated to death as a result of an erred medical diagnosis. Not only that but he saw his mother having to live with the pain of losing a caring husband. Wes could have easily taken the wrong path and blamed it on the absence of a good father figure. However, he understood this was not the case because one of his memories reflected a caring father who wanted to educate him on the correct way of treating women. Wes had a good father figure, even if his father was not living for the majority of his life. Wes did not expect that the lack of a father would result in him becoming any less than a decent man. As a result, he went about his life attempting to make good choices and never used not having a father as collateral for his bad choices or mistakes in judgement. 


The other Wes Moore



The other Wes Moore also had moments in his life that greatly affected him. One of these moments was when his older brother, Tony, constantly told him he needed to be tougher. “He loved his brother but had learned to ignore his occasional “do as I say, not as I do” tirades. Tony, by contrast, was desperately trying to give his little brother information he thought he needed, the kind of information Tony never got. Tony felt his brother’s life could be saved, even if he felt his own had already, at age fourteen, passed the point of no return”(p.27). Tony wanted a better life for Wes however, what Wes understood from this was that the only way to be successful was to be more like his brother. Wes eventually started drug dealing which led to bigger crimes such as when he robbed that jewelry store and killed an innocent man. Wes expected to be more like his brother, something which he eventually achieved. Both him and his brother were involved in the robbery, both were arrested, both were imprisoned. 


The Pygmalion Effect





The Pygmalion Effect is a psychological phenomena in which positive expectations lead to positive results and negative expectations lead to negative results. Although it is not guaranteed, it is a great way to measure how other people’s expectations affect us and how our own expectations affect ourselves. Essentially, the more we believe we can achieve something the more effort we would put into it and hence the higher the possibilities of achieving it. The same is the case if a person believes they are incapable of something, the more discouraged they will be and hence, the less effort they will put which could lead to reinforcing the bias that they were not qualified to do that thing in the first place. Failure and success are self inflicted, can be self achieved, and are self controlled. There are many different names for this phenomenon; affirmations, law of attraction, manifesting. Some can even believe something they know is false simply if it's repeated enough times. This is known as the illusionary effect. The important thing to remember is expectations influence behavior which influences our ability to achieve success or failure.

The Influence of Other People's Expectations

Why do we perform better when someone has high expectations of us?


Conclusion



What if? It is almost inevitable to ask this question. If one moment would have been different, would it all be the same? Many times we attribute the results of someone’s life to their opportunities but we forget about personal choices. It is true that certain things can accelerate the possibility of someone having a good outcome in their lives. However, personal choices and whether we take advantage of those ‘moments of fortune’ play a big part. It is not just about the life we inherit but about what we make of that life. Expectations also play a big part. Scientists and researchers have become interested in this field and attempted to determine to what degree do the things we expect translate into our choices and ultimately the lifestyle we end up having. Many agree that the things we expect end up becoming a reality, the term is known as self fulfilling prophecy. Regardless of the truth behind this, for purposes of this story this was what happened. It is true that both Wes' had moments where they could not control their environment or the situation. What they could control was their attitude. One believed it was important to get out of that environment while the other believed it was possible to prosper in the environment. One is now an author and had the opportunity to study in a prestigious school while the other is incarcerated for the rest of his life. Wes states, “The chilling truth is that his story could have been mine. The tragedy is that my story could have been his”(p.xi). Both could have been successful if they both had allowed themselves to believe this was a possibility. Expectations; “the root of all heartache”. 


Citations

 (2011). YouTube. Retrieved November 21, 2021, from https://youtu.be/hTghEXKNj7g.

(2019). YouTube. Retrieved November 21, 2021, from https://youtu.be/4aN5TbGW5JA.

The influence of other people's expectations. Exploring your mind. (2019, April 1). Retrieved November 21, 2021, from https://exploringyourmind.com/the-influence-of-other-peoples-expectations/.

Moore, W. (2011). The other Wes Moore: One name, two Fates. Spiegel & Grau Trade Paperbacks.

The Pygmalion effect. The Decision Lab. (2021, September 30). Retrieved November 21, 2021, from https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/the-pygmalion-effect/. 

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